When we bought our first home together right after getting married Jeff and I were certain we’d live in the house we had found until we died or couldn’t care for it anymore. We poured ourselves into it physically, emotionally and financially. Painstakingly cleared acres of land for almost two years, brought our vision of a barn to life, fenced in pasture, planted pasture grass, renovated two bathrooms, and completed countless projects inside the house to make it our own. And still were dreaming up plans to continue making it truly our home.
Our home had acres of private land, a 4000 sq ft home, a huge pond, space for the horses, soo much work on it completed….and we loved our home we’d created.
So then we decided…
To sell it.
Umm why?! Well they say a baby changes everything, and well a baby. Changes. Everything.
On that day our first child was born I had no idea how in the next years my heart and mind would be shaped as a mother. After my maternity leave ended and we fell back into life with both our full time jobs, a feeling of imbalance slowly crept upon us. Sure we had a great home we loved but we weren’t there enough to actually “live” in it. I wanted to be the one to care for and be there as a mother, but daycare took over a lot of that role. But I also found myself not being able to give my all to my job like I did before becoming a mother. We could also see the writing on the wall about what the pace of our life would look like not so far down the road, with maybe another child and after work and weekend activities added into our lives.
Our life was by many modern day standards on the slow side, but we wanted it slower.
Nevertheless, we couldn’t see how we’d meet all the boxes we needed to check off in order for me to stay at home or at least work much less. We had to have enough land for horses and future animals, with a home and outbuildings enough to work for us, all within a budget without my income.
For a while we went back and forth about the right decision. Perused properties for sale but never saw anything listed that would really work. I prayed for God to guide our decisions and path, that He would make a way for us.
Not too long later we were casually discussing possibly selling our home with my Dad and he mentioned a house that neighbored his small farm (where I grew up with horses) was for sale. I had driven past it recently and never even noticed the for sale sign. Honestly I hardly ever even glanced in the small, neglected looking houses direction at any time. Immediately I blew it off and joked that our sofa wouldn’t even fit in it and wasn’t it in rough shape? But thankfully, Jeff insisted we take a look at it. Even as the realtor showed us around the very rough, very neglected, smelly, everywhere you look is work needed house, I was thinking there’s no way we are selling our current property for this. I thought pfft, good luck to the poor soul who ends up buying this place as we got in the car and told the realtor we’d let her know.
But I went away from there and eventually began to realize that we could really live there on one income. And I could be a complete stay at home mom. I could be with my children not daycare or latchkey. And put the horses on my dad’s pasture that backed right up to the backyard there. We could still have a farm lifestyle. Our kids could walk to their grandpas, and grow up playing on the same land I did as a kid. Jeff assured me we could fix the house up and make it our home. We knew our life’s value did not lie in any property. And I realized the odds of things working out to happen just like this scenario again were slim.
I shouldn’t let it pass by for the sake of a big couch to go in our big house that sat empty while I was at work longing to be home, and our child at daycare.
“While raising your children, simplify your life in every way possible.
There are many benefits in doing this, but the one most needful is the
added breathing room you will have to disciple your children in a
peaceful and unhurried atmosphere.”
Rachel Comfort Zwayne – Joyful Mothers